Family of Me

by Daphne
Updates Mondays and Fridays

Scene 15: Like A Girl

Mom (Present Me): Hey Bloom.

Bloom (High School Me): Oh hi Mom.

Mom: How’s Lark settling in?

Bloom (sad): I don’t know… She isn’t? It still feels like she’s wrestling with her gender. We fight sometimes.

Mom: What about?

Bloom: About our gender, usually. I try to explain things, like why we’re a girl and why it matters, but she never really listens to me. It makes me pretty angry sometimes.

Mom: I can imagine. She probably thinks she knows better than you do because she’s older than you are. She doesn’t have that excuse with me, but I get the feeling I’m not getting through to her that deeply either.

Bloom: Really? She doesn’t even listen to you?

Mom: I mean, she does; I’m literally her except older and wiser, so my words carry a certain authority. Sometimes I can explain our gender in a way that sinks in intellectually. That’s important to her, but it’s not enough.

Bloom: But she knows for sure that she’s trans! She’s here now and she’s seen you!

Mom: Well… Not exactly. Do you see me?

Bloom: Of course! You’re beautiful! I can’t believe I get to grow into you one day.

Mom (smiling): You’re very sweet, Bloom. But do you remember what I looked like when you first came here?

Bloom (thinking): Of course, I… Um… Huh. I knew you were telling the truth when you said you were my future self, but I don’t think I saw you clearly? You seemed indistinct, like I was somehow reconstructing your image from memory. But that’s impossible; you’re future me. There’s no way I could *remember* you.

Mom: No there isn’t. But that’s how this place works; your perception is filtered through your self-image. You couldn’t see me properly when you first arrived, but once you understood who you were, we reintegrated and you could see me clearly.

Bloom: Huh, okay. But she can definitely hear us properly, and you’ve told her who she is. Isn’t that enough to understand that she’s trans?

Mom: No. Knowledge can only show her the door; she still needs the emotional fortitude to step through it. She has to *feel* like she’s trans.

Bloom: So… We have to build her up emotionally? But she’s still carrying the wrong gender inside her like it’s a trophy. Can she really change that?

Mom: She must, or I wouldn’t be here at all. It’s going to be a struggle though. You let me worry about building her up emotionally — there’s something else you can do that’ll be much more effective.

Bloom: What’s that?

Mom: Treat her like a girl. Include her in girly things. Be sisters with her. We know for sure she’s a trans girl because she’s past me, and if you immerse her in that she’ll start to recognize it on her own. Do you think you can try that for me?

Bloom (determined): I’ll try my hardest, Mom.