(The Star family sits together on an elevated train, chatting amongst themselves as it clacks along the tracks. It comes to the stop at a station and the doors slide open, letting a variety of other people onto the train. Not long afterwards, a familiar voice announces “Doors Closing” moments before they slide shut and the train continues on its way.)
Bloom (The Survivor): So where are we headed?
Mom (Me): Nowhere in particular. But it’s the summer, so it’s nice to get outside.
Kay (The Friend): Wait, is this the summer scene? Since when is our idea of “getting outside” taking a train to nowhere?
Lark (The Dreamer): Oh, come now Kay. You know it’s not really about the train, right? No shade, but we’re not that kind of trans girl.
Kay: So what is it about then?
Lark (smirking): You haven’t been paying attention, have you? Take a look around.
(Kay looks around the train car with an appraising eye—everyone in this particular car with us are women and girls in various summer dress. Cute tops and shorts, sundresses, swimwear with sun layers; an assortment of casually dressed femmes of all stripes are riding along with us. As the train pulls into its next stop, some leave while others take their place before the train continues on.)
Kay (mumbling): There’s a lot of cute girls on this train…
Bloom (teasing): Oooh, cat got your tongue? Who could possibly think straight with all these cuties around?
Kay (embarrassed): Oh shut up! It’s not like you’re any different!
Bloom (sheepish): I… Well yeah…
Aura (The Professional): So our summer celebration is ogling other girls on a train.
Mom: Not ogling! There’s no need to be creepy about it. Besides, not even you can honestly say that you’re not enjoying this.
Aura: I won’t deny it, but I noticed other girls from a distance in secret. I never reveled in it.
Mom (playful): How secretive do you think we were, really? Besides, reveling in it is why we’re here! Summer is our favorite season, and a big reason why is seeing other women in summer clothing. Light, airy outfits are my favorite, and I won’t deny that seeing exposed shoulders or a bare midriff is exciting. I love this.
Aura (annoyed): You’re assuming other women want to be perceived. That seems presumptuous… Disrespectful, even.
Mom (pensive): I feel like we used to think that way because we were fighting a particular societal message. Dressing in a particular way isn’t an invitation for someone to touch them, or a promise to spend time with them…
Kay: Cosplay is not consent.
Mom: Just so, but we took that all the way to looking at other women at all. Looking back on that, I think that was one step too far. Fashion exists to be perceived, and sometimes—often, even—people want to be seen. If a woman doesn’t want us to see them in a particular outfit, she probably wouldn’t have worn it out of the house… Or would have worn something over it.
Aura: That all rings true, I’ll grant you that. But we’re presenting feminine now, so all of it applies to us too. If you saw yourself boarding the train, you’d take a good look at yourself.
Ivy (The Partner): Sure, but that’s half the draw! It’s not just that we like seeing pretty girls, though of course we do. It’s that we are a pretty girl. We see them, and they see us. We’re not just passive observers—we’re in community with the women around us, and maybe we’ll even get the occasional greeting or smile and we’ll get to smile back.
Mom: Which absolutely happens, by the way. I love passing a cute girl on the street and smiling back at her after she smiles at me. It feels wonderful.
Kay (wistfully): Yeah it does…
Aura (dismissive): I can’t help but notice we keep talking about women here. Going out means being perceived by men too.
Mom: True, and we’re not particularly attracted to or interested in men. But that’s fine as long as they’re only looking rather than staring, or if they check in before engaging. It’s only when they take my presence in a space as an invitation to interact that it becomes a problem.
Bloom: What about non-binary people?
Mom: When we’re casually seeing a stranger, it honestly comes down to vibes. That’s true for men and women too… As well as agender, xenogender, or any other person.
Kay: Or system.
Mom: Or system. No need to be exclusive. Does that address your concerns, Aura?
Aura (smiling): Yeah, I think so. I think I can enjoy this summer excursion.
Mom: Great. What about you, Twyla? You’ve been pretty quiet .
(The rest of the Star family turns to look at Twyla, who’s been distant since the conversation began. She stares out the window of the train for a few moments longer before turning to address me.)
Twyla (The Parent): Why are we here? Why are we on a train celebrating?
Mom: Well, it’s the summer, and I try to host one of these celebratory scenes each season…
Twyla (annoyed): Why celebrate at all? What even is there to celebrate? We’ve been getting into heavier topics in this series, we’re having to work harder to process things, and you’ve said more than once that it’s getting harder and harder to write.
Mom: The difficulty is part of why it’s so important to continue. It’s hard because it’s meaningful.
Twyla: So why not make that difficulty the sole focus? Why not devote ourselves to digging deep into those challenging issues? Why indulge these meandering celebratory scenes at all? I haven’t even mentioned how it’s a terrifying time to be a trans person right now… The world outside our head isn’t exactly making this easier on us.
Mom (firm): It isn’t, no. But that’s also a reason to celebrate. A dear friend once told us “the best revenge is living well” and I believe that whole-heartedly. The reason we fight through the tough times, the reason we struggle, is in order to live our lives fully. Celebrating the things that make us happy, or the moments we enjoy—they’re an important part of this process too.
Twyla (defiant): So we’re just making light of our challenges then? They need dedicated attention.
Mom: This is dedicated attention. It might not feel like it because I’m not throwing all of our focus into directly “solving” our stress, but that’s because we’ve tried that and it doesn’t work.
Bloom (quiet): When I tried to remember what I was like before I went to high school, I couldn’t. It brought me to tears… It brought all of us to tears.
Lark: Throwing ourselves at trying to remember harder isn’t effective.
Mom: This is the indirect method that we’re trying here. Instead of trying to drill in and “fix” myself like there’s a part of me somewhere that needs to be repaired or replaced, we’re building a supportive atmosphere where the parts of me that present challenges are supported by the rest of me. Before I started down this road, all Bloom and Kay could feel were their masks. Now they’re individuals of their own with a full range of feelings. By allowing them to be more than just their stress, they have enough support within and without themselves to thrive.
Aura: I could have sworn you’ve explained this before.
Mom: I probably have… Some repetition is inevitable when a series gets long enough. But that’s also part of the process. Challenging topics require more than one approach, and sometimes that means facing the same things over and over in slightly different ways until you reveal something that lets you dig a little deeper than you could last time.
Kay: If at first you don’t succeed…
Mom: Exactly. So that’s why we’re on a train enjoying our summer, Twyla. I hope you’re able to find some enjoyment in this too.
Twyla (hesitant): I am… I am. I’m still on board for all this, I’m just… I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated that I can’t see exactly what I need to do and fix my issue directly.
Mom: I understand that. That used to frustrate me too—it still does, sometimes. But sometimes the direct approach doesn’t work, whereas this indirect approach absolutely does. Besides, most of this series is serious topics, so you’ll still get plenty of that. But we’re going to keep celebrating the seasons too, okay?
Twyla: Okay. I’ll celebrate too.
Kay (alert): Wait, is she…
(I look up to see a girl across the car making eyes at Kay just in time to see her blush shyly and look away when she catches Kay looking back. Kay also flushes bright red and looks down at her lap, just missing the other girl stealing another look from across the car. I smile to myself and relax for the rest of the ride.)