Inner Child: 2022 is almost over.
Me: Shouldn’t you be asleep?
Child (grinning): I’m part of you, remember? I get to stay up as long as you do.
Me: Aha. I guess that can’t be helped. How was your year?
Child: It’s been good! You started talking to me, and I don’t have to feel alone anymore. It’s only been a couple of weeks, but you’ve been a pretty good mom so far.
Me (smiling): Thanks, Daphne. It’s been a good year for me too. I feel like I really started growing into my womanhood this year, but I also felt like I could start reveling in my girlhood. That’s probably why we’re talking at all — I’ve reached a place where I can hold us both in my head at the same time.
Child (cheering): Which means I get to hang around more!
Me: Yup! I like having you around. What about the new year? Any plans?
Child: Oooh, I want to try makeup! And maybe get my ears pierced? And I want to wear cute sandals and a long flowy dress and walk around in a field and have a picnic!
Me (laughing): I don’t know why that particular scene stands out in my head so much, but I’ll try to make it happen this year.
Child: Yay! What about you? Any hopes for the new year?
Me: I don’t know. Keep growing, I guess. Try to help other trans girls find themselves and grow and stay safe. Keep building the world I wished I had grown up in.
Child: That feels a little… impersonal.
Me: That’s not everything. I want to be a good mom to you. I want to meet your siblings.
Child (surprised): I have sisters?
Me: I don’t know, maybe? You’re a contextual projection of me, like a shard of my personality. Maybe manifesting other shards would be a healthy exercise for me.
Child: Sounds weird. If I weren’t already you I’m not sure I’d know what you were talking about.
Me: Yeah, it’s not really a concrete thought yet. I tried meeting teen Daphne a few days ago, but you’re already kind of teen Daphne? So it didn’t really work.
Child: Well that’s confusing. I hope you figure it out, because I want to meet my sisters.
Me (smiling): I’ll do my best.
(Child Daphne cuddles up to me.)
Child: I know you will. Happy New Year, Mom.
Me: Happy New Year, Daphne.