Me: Good morning, Daphne.
Inner Child: Hi Mom! What’s up?
Me: I’ve been thinking about your siblings. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to manifest them… I started talking to you because I couldn’t avoid feeling like you, but I’m not sure that’s true of the others. Manifesting other versions of myself feels like a solution in search of a problem.
Child: Okay, I get that. But what if it’s like being trans?
Me: What do you mean?
Child: You didn’t think you were trans until you realized you couldn’t be a man. After that, you figured out that we were trans pretty quickly. Maybe in manifesting my siblings, you’ll notice other things you can’t see yet.
Me: I… Suppose that’s possible…
Child: So? Can I meet my sister?
Me: I guess so. It’s going to be rough at first.
Child: Yay! Do it do it do it!
Me: Okay, here goes…
???: What is this place?
Child: YAAAAY!
??? (shocked): Whoa!
Me: Hi. It’s nice to sort-of-meet you. If I did this properly, you should be me when I was in college.
Child: So she’s college you and I’m kid you?
College Me: “She”?
Present Me: You’re kid me, but also like high school me? Let’s just call you “High School Me”, and I’ll be “Present Me”.
High School Me: Got it. Nice to meet you, older sister!
College: I think there’s been some mistake. I’m not a girl.
Present (sighing): Oh right. Listen, you know how you lay in bed late at night, wishing you’d been born a girl?
College: I haven’t done that for years. Have you been telling people our childhood secrets!?
Present: Never mind that. You know when when you’re having… adult daydreams… you always imagine yourself as the girl?
College (embarrassed): Whoa, that’s private! You can’t just tell everybody!
Present: Oh? Why not?
College: People are going to think we’re messed up! We’ll lose all our friends. People can’t just be girls; that has to stay in our head forever.
Present: And what if you could just be a girl? If you could change your gender and not lose your friends and not become a pariah. Would you do it?
College: I, uh… Of course I would try it. Who wouldn’t?
Present: Most people, actually. As it turns out, wanting to be a girl often means you’re already a girl.
College: But it’s… It’s just a fetish, a sex thing. It’s not like I imagine myself as a girl all the time.
Present: But if you could be a girl all the time, wouldn’t you?
College (crying): I… Yes.
Present: Then good news, college me. You are a girl, now and forever.
(High School Daphne hugs College Daphne, who is sitting on the ground and sobbing.)
HS: Nice to meet you, sister!
College (still crying): Sister… I’m really a girl. Do I… Do we have a name?
Present: We do. You already know it; you picked it for us. You thought you were just naming video game characters, but it stuck.
College: Oh! I chose the name Daphne… I’m Daphne!
Present: We’re Daphne, yes.
HS: That was quick. I thought it would take longer to convince her.
Present: It didn’t take long to convince you either, because this is a contrived conversation in my head. Or would you rather take a more realistic approach? Last time it took about two decades to convince you.
College (anxious): No thank you I very much like this version please!
Present: Thought so.
HS: So… Are you going to have to convince every one of my sisters that she’s a girl?
Present: Yup. The shape of my denial changed over time, so I think each version of me will require a unique approach. It might be a while before we can have our all Daphne sleepover.
HS (disappointed): Awww! At least I get to hang out with my big sis!
College: Uh, sure? Not going to lie, this is weird. But… I already like being a girl. Lets hang out, little sister.
Present (smiling): Have fun, you two.