Family of Me

by Daphne
Updates Mondays and Fridays

Scene 12: Hard Work

Libra (College Me): Hey Mom?

Mom (Present Me): Yes Daphne?

Libra (smiling): Gosh I love hearing that name.

Mom (smiling back): Feels nice, doesn’t it?

Libra (more serious): I wanted to talk to you about our newest sister.

Mom: How is Lark doing? Is she settling in okay?

Libra: Well… Not really. She’s not denying her gender anymore, but it still seems like she’s fighting it.

Mom: I guess she still needs more time.

Libra: I don’t get it though. Bloom and I accepted our gender right away.

Mom: Through the magic of hindsight and fiction.

Libra: Sure, but why doesn’t that same magic work on Lark? Why is this so hard for her?

Mom: It does work on Lark; this is the fast version. She desperately wants to find meaning and happiness, and we seem to have that, so she’s willing to go along with it. She hasn’t really bought in yet though.

Libra: I don’t understand.

Mom: Lark was really invested in the belief that she was going to start her own business someday, make a lot of money, find some unique niche and become a famous person somehow. Make her mark; change the world. But we haven’t, so now that belief is getting in her way.

Libra: I had those dreams too… Why didn’t they make me resist my gender?

Mom: You had those dreams, but you didn’t feel obligated to act on them. You were still in school, full of potential, so they weren’t really relevant to you. Lark is the first of us that felt the need to convert that potential into results.

Libra: Okay, I get it, but couldn’t you hand wave that away for her?

Mom: That would defeat the whole purpose. Coming to terms with who I wanted to become and what happened since is a big part of why she’s here. We need to work through this together — that’s what this reparenting work is all about, after all.

Libra: I guess so. It’s sad that being a girl is so hard for her to accept though.

Mom (tearful): Yeah… Yeah, it is. My 20s were when I feel I drifted the furthest away from who I am at heart. Who knows – If I had actually succeeded in making a fortune and living a life of luxury, maybe I wouldn’t have found myself at all. Regardless, reconciling with Lark is going to take some effort, but I promise it’ll be worth it.

Libra: Of course it will, Mom. She’s our sister.

Mom (tearfully smiling): Yes she is.

(I sit down and sigh deeply.)

Libra (concerned): Are you okay, Mom?

Mom: Am I making a mistake, Daphne?

Libra: By helping Lark?

Mom: By doing any of this. Trying to put myself into the shoes of my younger selves — bringing you all back here to talk with me. Bloom was a special case: I started talking to her because I couldn’t avoid her; I kept slipping into her mindset, and talking to her was a way to reconcile with that. But I brought you and Lark back by choice, to help me come to terms with how I’ve always been myself.

Libra: Why would that be a mistake?

Mom: Because I could let you rest, Daphne. I could let the past be the past, leave my old self behind, and forge a new life apart from who I used to be. Instead I’m holding therapy sessions in my head and broadcasting them to the public. Is this really the right thing to do?

Libra (pensive): I think you know the answer already, Mom. There are still things buried deep inside us – in you – that need to be unearthed and examined and reintegrated. We deserve to be whole.

Mom (smiling): Thanks, Daphne. It’s good to hear you say it.

Libra: As for the format, it’s worth doing this in public so others can follow the path we took… We already know that’s helping others, and haven’t you said that if this helps even one person find themselves then it was worth it? And maybe this is selfish, but… I really enjoy spending time with you and seeing what we’ve become.

Mom: I’m glad to hear that too. I’m excited to see how all this turns out. In the meantime, help me keep an eye out for Bloom and Lark, okay?

Libra: I’ll do my best, Mom!